I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
