Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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