You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
