With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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