I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
organizing the empties. That sober.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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