Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
