Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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