watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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