didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
