i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The struggles of a small town man whore
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
