in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
