She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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