Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
