Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
