Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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