OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
