Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
