I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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