I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
