it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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