If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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