I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize