Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
