Who did Billy Mays play for?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We had sex on a dog bed..
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
