so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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