Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
