Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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