No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
