We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
