You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize