The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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