Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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