well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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