my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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