perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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