Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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