You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
