her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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