I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish I only lived at night.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
