cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
