Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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