Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
