He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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