Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
