You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
