so explain again why im purple
no
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
