I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
