Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
