I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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