Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
