It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
