Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
