I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize