found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my phone needs a breathalizer
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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