i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
