Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
