Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
