i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
