idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
