So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
