Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
