youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
