Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
