I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
