let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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