Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
