they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
