I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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