I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
smell my finger.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
