Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
