bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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